One situation were it can be so easy to revert to screen usage is when you hear the dreaded….”Moooom, I’m BORED!”
Maybe you’re on a car ride. Maybe you are trying to answer some emails. Maybe get dinner on the table. Maybe it’s a rainy or snowy day. Whatever the reason, they are bored, and you can’t engage directly with the child at the moment. So, to stop the whine and solve this near tragedy of boredom, you approve some screen time. Not to worry, we’ve all done it. But maybe there’s a better way?
When a child tells you that they are bored, they are telling you that they can’t think of something to do off the top of their head, not that there is actually nothing to do. They simply can’t make that leap by themselves.
Your first solution is to offer a few options of activities or toys that you have readily available. There’s a chance that they might pick one of your options, and that’s great. But the real magic lies in them NOT choosing one of your recommendations. Here’s why.
It is genuinely good for a child to be bored. It forces them to think about what they really like and do not like. What do they see as fun and what do they dislike? Why? What gets their mind racing? What sparks their imagination? What if they just tried this one thing? If they are never bored, and are always given something or doing something to prevent boredom, they will never ask these questions of themselves. If they are never bored, they will never stretch their imagination and build their creativity!
Creative ideas and a vivid imagination do not just appear on demand out of nowhere. They need to be cultivated and nurtured. How do you do this? Let them be bored. Have open-ended toys and activities available and then allow them the time and space to begin working with those things.
What do I mean by open-ended? I mean things that don’t have an obvious, single purpose or structure. First, keep in mind there is nothing wrong with toys that aren’t open-ended…such as a pre-built racetrack or a light-bright. These can be lots of fun and they definitely have their place! But the toy lends itself to one activity, and if the child is not interested in that one activity, then the toy is not appealing, thus the boredom. Open-ended toys and activities might be things like a set of blocks, baby dolls, a bin of craft supplies, or an empty box. These items allow the child to create their own imaginative play. Use the blocks to build a castle, a house for their dolls, a zoo for their animals, a garage for their cars. Use the dolls to play with a game of family. Use the craft supplies to make cards, gifts, decorations, and so on. Turn the box into a fort, a house, a car, a fire truck, a doll house. Do you see how these activities lend themselves to a child using their imagination to play something that is bigger and more involved than one simple toy? Do you see how, over time, this builds creativity and imagination?
You might need to allow a child to actually be bored a few times in order to spur their imaginations forward to start coming up with these creative ideas. That is ok. You are not harming them. You are not being mean. They need the space to make the leap to creativity.
The next time your child says, “Moooom, I’m BORED!”, take a deep breath. Resist the urge to settle for a screen. Instead, say “I saved a box from a package the other day. Why don’t you grab some markers and scissors and see what you can make with it?”